THE FORREST GUMP

This one is for all the Forrest Gump fans....one of my all time favourites....A futile effort to capture the essence of the movie....but alas...the falliable me! So pardon my follies and read on....

No i didn't cry that day because i was a man,
My mind was completely blank and so i simply ran.
Why was i running i couldn't really understand,
But i just kept on running through the forests and the barren land.
All my life i kept running after the happiness i never really got,
That day all causes vanished for which i had always fought.
So i decided that i would run for no particular reason at all,
Maybe i just wanted to avoid thinking about my greatest fall.
People started following me,i really didn't know why,
Maybe they were just like me and even they didn't want to cry.
So we ran through the lands far and wide,
For me they were the crowd but for them i was a guide.
And one day i was just too tired to keep on going like this,
I missed you like hell and missed our first kiss.
Where would i search for you i never really knew,
But you were the feeling inside my heart out of which i never ever grew.
And then i got a letter from you that day,
I thought that happiness has finally come my way.
You looked the same,so fresh and so pure,
But you were ill and there was no cure.
But you gave me the most precious gift i had ever got,
He was just like you and he was the happiness i had always sought.
I take him to the school and bring him back,
And you are the only happiness around us that we lack.
But no,i won't cry because i am a man,
I will keep on loving you as long as i can.
So when your memories hurt me like an uncurable lump,
I'll just run beacuse i am the Forrest Gump.

THE MAGIC GLARES!

This one is for you Swati…for you have been pestering me to write about him for long…..
Here enters Mudit Jain (we saw his name on the list while we were getting down at the station) ….wearing a cowboy hat and sun glares that might be helping him in glaring at the sun invisible to rest of the people in the compartment. Swati and I wait patiently for him to remove that beige hat and black glares only to realize that the wait is endless. Rest of the people in the compartment are as amused as we are to see this fella who seems to be directly walking out of Brokeback mountain, but nevertheless, we being these stupid giggling females, choose to show our effrontery and continue mocking him till the time this topic starts boring us. People around pass on their smiles (I am not sure that is because of our supposedly good sense of humor or just the fact that we are two young females) as we continue babbling. Through this entire cheap act that we put up, he just chooses to ignore us and stay quiet, just as he chooses not to take out his ostentatious accessories. We try to encourage him to react, but he doesn’t, he is in his own quasi-real world…so we attribute it to his inability to comprehend our sarcasm (we are too proud to believe that any guy can ignore us). So we move to other instigating topics like men and life and more men and life and bad men and life and good men and life and dearth of good men in life and our lives in men. When we realize that the word ‘MEN’ has been overused and abused, we call it off for the day. When we look back at Mudit we find that he has finally parted from his beloved glares and cowboy hat! (I mean if we can part from this topic called MEN then anything in this world can parted). So we see his black eyeballs and full eyelashes that can easily sweep away any girl off her feet. And its just not about his eyes, it is about the innocence that lies within them, it is about the twinkle that we invariably fail to see in the lust-filled/ drowsy/ unyielding tired/complaining eyes in the males that we see around that awes us. Our hearts melt instantly looking at him, not because he is a handsome man with eyes of a deer, but because he is a man to whom the crookedness of the world has failed to touch. For an instant, guilt sweeps across us both, for all the shameless act that we have been putting up through the evening, just because he is not one of us, just because he is an aberration, and coming to think about it now we wonder whether we are unable to accept the aberration in his style or demeanor, the demeanor in which he is not mean, not bothered about what others have to think about him, in which he shows that he has no complaints towards life, no sarcasm and no bitterness. But because we are not an aberration, we joke and tell each other ‘Only if he wouldn’t have been an aberration!’ So we end the day discussing about yet another man. When I get up in the morning dropping a dozen things from my middle berth as I get up, he religiously keeps on picking up all the stuff and handing it back to me with a smile. All this for all the fun I made of him! And no, he doesn’t mean a thing more by his smile, it just comes in naturally to him, so he finally takes away the cynicism from me as well, the cynicism that I invariably carry when I get those smiles from other males, smiles that may or may not mean a thing. I smile back at him, and it comes in naturally to me as well this time. After a while, he again dons his sunglasses and hat. I smile, this time not because I am playing another silly comment on my mind, but because now I know why he puts on those glares, though he may not have any clue about it. I perceive that he puts them on to save himself from all the sarcasm, bitterness and cynicism that are highly contagious. As we get down at our station, I wonder from where can I buy those magic glares and hat? Any idea fellas???????

WHAT ARE YOU SUFFERING FROM?

Here are some of the syndromes i have seen among people i have come across (including me ofcourse!)Read on and try to figure out your category.

• OCD- Obsessive Compliment me Disorder (And the award goes to Ms. Aditi Chaturvedi.Any competitors out there?)
• AIDS-Avoid Intelligent Discussion Syndrome(A certain Sara Palin must be suffering from it,specially after making so many 'intelligent' statements.
• CANCER-Critisize And Negate the Competent,Efficient and the Rich (Ever overheard a conversation between the paan-chewing baabus?)
• SARS-Sadism Accompanying Rejoice Syndrome (Its wonderful sometimes to indulge in some guilty pleasures.)
• STD-Show Tantrums and Displeasure (Is Karnataka CM reading my blog?)
• SCID-Severely Corrupted Indian Denziens (All of us who just sit back in our homes and blame the politicians for all the mishappenings)
• MPD- Machinating and Plotting Disorder ( Kindly congratulate Ms. Ekta Kapoor and all her scriptwriters for this one.They have a disorder and they are encashing on it!God bless me with such a disorder....)
• RABIES- Revile And Blemish the Innocent,Earnest and the Sagacious(What are you thinking Mr. Antulay?)
• TETANUS-Tell Everyone That our Adjoining Neighbours are Useless Skunks( The media of both the countries and ofcourse a lot of organizations are suffering from it, who just love to propogate the 'HATE YOUR NEIGHBOUR' policy)
• POLIO-Pricks Of Liquid Income Outflow (Ouch,this one hurts!)

So the qusetion remains....what are you suffering from?

BROKEN!

I met with an accident this Sunday, and it seemed to have changed my life all of a sudden. It was a big eye-opener…it persuaded me to reconsider a hundred thousand things….to reconsider the way I take my life for granted, the way I take people around me for granted, specially the people who love me the most. That day sitting at the hospital, I could see the endless pain my father’s eye, something I had never seen before, as if he was trying to tell me, it’s not you who is broken, but it is my trust that you can take care of yourself that is broken. I never ever want to see that expression on his face again. The fallouts that followed the incident were worse….my family having lost their faith in me, my friends trying to make me understand things, people playing the blame game, it was all too much for me to take. But sitting here today I write this post for all those who have suffered because of me and my attitude towards life. Broken trusts and friendships, I know I can’t bring all that back now. Sometimes in life we become so blindfolded about things that we love and run after, that we forget to see in what ways is it corrupting us……and at the end of it all, we never find the things we were actually running after, because it was never ours anyway, but we end up becoming something that we were actually not. So one fine day when we realize that a wild goose chase has done us no good, it has infact consumed all our energy and vibrancy, it has made us do bad to people who actually cared, who were there with us all along, but we never noticed them because we took them for granted in this maddening chase, we realize that they all have already moved too far, and you are left with nothing, no energy, vibrancy or trust from people who actually cared. So what do you do then? Apologize to people whom you have hurt badly? That won’t be the solution I guess…..the best thing possible that could be done now is to pave the way that you broke while running, putting each stone step by step, making sure that nobody ever falls again from the road of trust that you have built. And maybe that would be the best thing that you could do for people who actually cared.

I faltered a thousand times in the things I did,
A hundred thousand things I told and hid.
I am sorry for the pains I have caused,
For the trust of people I have blindly tossed,
But I get up today and try to heal the burn,
I today realize the lesson that people wanted me to learn,
I am glad they are still there despite what I have done,
I know now what I need to abjure and shun.

KABHI KHUD PE HANSAA MAIN,AUR KABHI KHUD PE ROYA!

#When people remind me that i am turning 24 this year,and i shouldn't be staring at guys younger than me,that most of them are!
#When my boss gets didactic.
#When i am supposed to wear only suits to my office.
#When my tailor stitches suits like the ones Jassi used to wear.
#When my beautician drops burning hot wax on me and say 'Oops!I am sorry!' with an apologetic smile while my skin takes it out on me by popping up a boil.
#When my pimples refuse to go away even when i am way past 18,even when i tried all the remedies from Lactocalamine to the ones that aunts suggest.
#When my male friends gawk at a hot female passing by giving that 'Oh!You look so hot look' glare while they never even spare a second look,even if i manage to look like Marlyn Monroe(Just as a matter of speaking that Monroe thing!)
#When the autowaala and Rickshawaalas eve-tease me.
#When i meet my old flame and he manages to look better than last time.
#When i meet my old flame and i inevitably look worse than the last time.
#When i have to go to the loo in my office where there aren't any other female workers.(It stinks man!)
#When my friends tell me how caring and loving their boyfriends are or any of my single friends gets a boyfriend.
#At the thought of an arranged marriage.
#When my friend tells me that i had the worst hair-cut ever.
#When i badly want to doze off but can't beacuse my boss is around.
#When my friend invariably knocks me down on all the discussions that we hold.
#When my father lectures me on time management and systematic investment plan.
#When i have just 100 bucks left in my bank account.
#When i want to grab a drink but can't beacuse i stay at home.
#When i somehow manage to perform an act that remotely resembles dancing while my friends show me the grooviest of moves.
#When my 2 year old niece tells me that i shouldn't wear a particular dress beacuse its too tight.
#When i am on a 'Oh so perfect date' and my brother calls me up and gives me those warnings to come back at once.
#When the psychos who are behind my life refuse to undersatnd that i am NOT INTERESTED in them.
PS-Hope they are reading and understanding!
#When my bus driver becomes hellbent to make me listen to worst songs on FM.
#When i see that my hairfall rate is 10 times faster than my aging process.
#When i go to get my eyebrows and upperlips plucked and end up looking like Amol Palekar in the movie Golmaal.
#When my mother tells me about my another prospective groom(Yup,all that ends up in the prospective stage,while my mother prepares herself to get yet another BEST guy for me)
And what do i do when all these things bang my head????
Well,i listen to the song-KAbhi khud pe hansaa main,aur kabhi........................

EXPLAINING THE WATER CYCLE

Another dull day,by afternoon i was wishing desperately that it ends soon.I checked my mailbox-no mails from any job site...no replies from whereever i had applied!Depressed???No..Bored...Yes!So i thought of doing something different.My 'baai' whom i hardly talk to....was surprised to see that i can actually talk to people around me!I don't know whether she was being inquisitive or sarcastic...but after much contemplation she asked me-"Aaj aapke friends computer par nahee aaye kya??"I thought i'll enlighten her with the whole funda of net and how has it changed our lives.....but as i was giving it a thought to tell her the impotance of net in our lives...she made her next statement-''Meri bahu se mera mera jhagdaa ho gayaa".I looked blankly at her for a long time and then i stared away...it was a bad idea after all.She studied me carefully and understood that i was no more interested in talking to her,so she quickly changed the topic...
"Aapke papa kahaan gaye hain?''-''Goa"
"Wahaan kya hai?"-''Samudra"
"Kya humlog samudra ka paani pee sakte hain?"-"Nahee"
"Kyun?''-"Kyunki wo khaara hota hai''.
"Khaare ka matlab?''-"Usme bohot namak hota hai"
"Kyun,jab namak khaa sakte hain,to namak waala paani kyun nahee pee sakte?"-(thinking for a while)-"Kyunki usmein kaafi zyaada namak hota hai....wo bhi humlog sirf shudh namak khaate hain....usmein kaafi tarah ke namak hote hain!"
"Haan,maine Nirma shudh namak ka add dekha hai,jiska daana daana ek samaan hota hai!'
"Par kya humlog baarish ka paani nahee pee sakte?"-"Aisee kya zaroorat aa gayee,ki tum baarish ka paani peene ke baare mein sochne lageen?"
"Nahee,aise he"...-"Haan,pee sakti ho!"
"Par baadal to samudra ke paani se he bante hain,to humlog baarish ka paani kaise pee sakte hain?"-(Wondering,how did she manage to question me so much!)
"Nahee,sirf samudra nahee,nadee aur taalaab ke paani se bhi baadal bante hain,aur samudra se sirf paani udtaa hai,uske saath namak nahee"
"Namak kyun nahee udtaa"-(Yaar isko evapouration ka funda kaise samjhaaun!)
"Namak bhaari hota hai,ud nahee paata,jaise chidiya halki hoti hai,ud paati hai,insaan bhaari hota hai,ud nahee paata"-(I mean i even didn't know what was i saying!)
Looking absolutely convinced-"Waah,matlab baarish ka paani pee sakte hain!''
"Tum baarish ka paani peene ke liye inti utsuk kyun ho?"-"Wo mera apni bahu se is baat ko lekar jhagdaa ho rahaa tha ki roz paani bharke kaun laayega-abhi baarish ka mausam hai,socha kaun jhig-jhig kare,baarish aayegi to baalti bahaar he rakh denge!''
"Lagta hai net par mere friends aa gaye,chalti hun!''

THE BACK BENCHERS!

Here goes a poem for all the people who celebrate being back benchers...(People like me that is!)
From the time i remember i was always a back bencher,
But i was happy sitting there because i was never a knowledge quencher.
Sleeping,dozing,yawning,snoring,
I just sat through all the classes that were obviously boring.
The teachers were like the louse that bit my head,
And through all the classes i was more lifeless than the dead.
Whatever was taught was greek and latin,
All i could think of was a bed covered with satin.
The lecturers tried to improve me but their efforts went in vain,
I kept on wondering why did they even bother to take the unnecessary pain.
Thankfully i have people around who are just like me,
Even they ask for permission all the time to go and pee.
We are happy as long as we are out of the lecturer's sight,
And with keypads under our fingers we message with all our might..
Sometimes we try to change and try to concentrate hard,
But our zeal to do nothing at all becomes our saving guard.
So we come back soon to our normal mode,
And never try to decipher again the DaVinci's code.
The day is approaching when we will never have to sit through those classes again,
The day when we will never have to suffer this torturous pain.
But we will miss the pleasure of doing nothing at all,
No one bothering to teach us and no one to make an attendance call,
So be proud if you sit in the last bench,
Because it is a pleasure no knowledge could quench.