BROKEN!

I met with an accident this Sunday, and it seemed to have changed my life all of a sudden. It was a big eye-opener…it persuaded me to reconsider a hundred thousand things….to reconsider the way I take my life for granted, the way I take people around me for granted, specially the people who love me the most. That day sitting at the hospital, I could see the endless pain my father’s eye, something I had never seen before, as if he was trying to tell me, it’s not you who is broken, but it is my trust that you can take care of yourself that is broken. I never ever want to see that expression on his face again. The fallouts that followed the incident were worse….my family having lost their faith in me, my friends trying to make me understand things, people playing the blame game, it was all too much for me to take. But sitting here today I write this post for all those who have suffered because of me and my attitude towards life. Broken trusts and friendships, I know I can’t bring all that back now. Sometimes in life we become so blindfolded about things that we love and run after, that we forget to see in what ways is it corrupting us……and at the end of it all, we never find the things we were actually running after, because it was never ours anyway, but we end up becoming something that we were actually not. So one fine day when we realize that a wild goose chase has done us no good, it has infact consumed all our energy and vibrancy, it has made us do bad to people who actually cared, who were there with us all along, but we never noticed them because we took them for granted in this maddening chase, we realize that they all have already moved too far, and you are left with nothing, no energy, vibrancy or trust from people who actually cared. So what do you do then? Apologize to people whom you have hurt badly? That won’t be the solution I guess…..the best thing possible that could be done now is to pave the way that you broke while running, putting each stone step by step, making sure that nobody ever falls again from the road of trust that you have built. And maybe that would be the best thing that you could do for people who actually cared.

I faltered a thousand times in the things I did,
A hundred thousand things I told and hid.
I am sorry for the pains I have caused,
For the trust of people I have blindly tossed,
But I get up today and try to heal the burn,
I today realize the lesson that people wanted me to learn,
I am glad they are still there despite what I have done,
I know now what I need to abjure and shun.